Just a little shout-out to all of our supportive spouses! Although we don’t post about you as often as our surrogate mothers, your role is very important and appreciated!

#supportteam #thankfulforyou #buildingfamiliesinc

Having an OB you can trust is important for any pregnancy. As Jeri nears the end of her surrogacy, we’re thankful to know she’s in good hands with Dr. Arora!

#pregnancyglow #OB #proudsurrogate #buildingfamiliesinc

“It’s not good news today”, that’s the response I received to my “Hello” when I answered the phone. “Dangit” was what first came out of my mouth and before I was able to fully process my negative result, she goes on to say, “Your IPs want to try again.” Talk about a full range of emotion!

I appreciated their faith in me and in the process, but I was still imagining the disappointment they were feeling. I couldn’t help but wonder if this failed attempt brought back their difficult past, the reason they needed my help in the first place. They were not only optimistic, but they were apologetic. They actually apologized to me! I felt like I was supposed to be apologizing to them. They quickly reminded me of our recent success, just last year, when I gave birth to their daughter. Thinking of her grounded us, and filled us with hope for the future.

Then came the task of notifying the 50+ people who knew I was waiting for the results that day. I know am fortunate to have a huge support system with so many rooting me on, so I am not complaining. It just wasn’t the news I expected to share. In retrospect, I now understand why many choose to share with a select few.

As a typically positive person, it’s hard for me to admit that I struggled with doubts over the next 24 hours. I kept replaying the transfer, the bed rest, and the days leading up to the pregnancy test. Could I have done something more? Was my shower too warm? Did I eat too many cookies? Did I drink enough water? And more things that are just as ridiculous to write as they were for me to think!! Finally, my heart and my head synced and I knew that I did everything right and it is true, that sometimes it just doesn’t work. Plain and simple!

So back on the saddle we go!

“Where do babies come from?” This might be one of the most dreaded questions for parents of small children. Navigating it in an age appropriate but also inclusive manner can be daunting. ‘What Makes a Baby,’ by Cory Silverberg explains the various routes to parenthood in an uncomplicated, matter of fact way. We highly recommend this book for not only our IP’s and surrogates, but for all parents.

#themoreyouknow #buildingfamiliesinc

Part I:

I don’t have a big backstory that lead me to surrogacy. It was actually quite simple, I have easy pregnancies, love being pregnant so why wouldn’t I help someone?! I felt and still feel, that there isn’t a reason NOT to help someone else. Like if you’re in a parking lot and you see someone struggling to put something in their car and you know that you could easily help them, why wouldn’t you? It costs $0 to be a good person.

I remember receiving the profile for my IP. It wasn’t even a thought in my head for me to form an opinion about them if that makes sense. I don’t feel like you have to like someone to help them. Honestly, my concern was whether or not they’d like me! But, it wasn’t my place to like them or judge them. I signed up to help someone have a family and if a relationship formed, that would be a bonus but not something I would allow myself to hope for.

So, for me, one of the first of many “big” days arrived in December 2016. It was time to meet a potential Couple. As is BFI’s custom, they attended this event that they like to call a blind date. I am not kidding when I tell you that it only took 30 seconds for me to know that this was the Couple that I was meant to help. The moment the Intended Mother made eye contact with me, I felt like she was the reason I had signed up for this journey. Mark & I left the lunch knowing that we wanted to move forward, but we weren’t certain they felt the same way. We spoke about how difficult it must be for them when considering and selecting the woman who will carry their child. Knowing she and their baby would be thousands of miles away. As parents, it was difficult to fully imagine what they were feeling. We respected them all the more. Obviously, LOL, we picked each other and our journey began.

We’re so thankful that we were able to meet up with some of our Intended Parents in San Jose! Seeing them build relationships with each other as well is so rewarding. Thank you to all who attended!

#buildingfamiliesinc #bumble #timewellspent

The last time Dr. Parks at San Diego Fertility Center held this sweet bundle, he looked much different! We love when a couple is able to visit the clinic where their journey began with the baby in tow. Dr. Parks and the rest of the team at SDFC has been helping us create miracles for over 20 years. No matter how much time passes, each experience feels like the first!