I saw something else on his face, something new. It was hope.

I was speaking with an Intended Father recently while his wife was undergoing an egg retrieval. He was telling me about how they were able to spend some quality time with their Surrogate Mother, her husband and their children the last few days and they so enjoyed that time together.

He showed me picture after picture of their time together. He may not have realized it, but he was smiling bigger than I had seen since their arrival. And I saw something else on his face, something new. It was hope.

I saw it on both of their faces before the Intended Mom was taken back for her procedure. After showing me the 100 or so pictures, and I am not exaggerating, he leaned in and almost began to whisper his next words. It wasn’t as if anyone else in the waiting room was listening or could have understood us speaking a foreign language. But I leaned in too as I wanted to hear him.

He admitted that he thought that a big motivation for Surrogate Mothers was the money. But after spending so much time with his Surrogate Mother and seeing how complete her life is, he knew this was not the case. I asked him how much he thought the work his Surrogate Mom was doing was worth. He quickly answered, “There isn’t enough money in the world to pay her what she deserves!” I completely agreed, of course! But he was perplexed by something so he went on whispering as he began to describe the last day they had with their Surrogate Mom and how his thoughts constantly went to, “Why would this woman help us?”

He proceeded to tell me things like what a great mom she is to her several children and what a huge responsibility she has in caring for them. He described the loving relationship between her and her husband. And then he says, “I just can’t understand why she is offering to help in this way”. In the same voice he was using, I whispered to him, “You just told me the reasons.”

He sat back with a confused look on his face. I explained that she had everything she could have ever wanted, a wonderful marriage and children for them to love and cherish together. She knew that there were Couples out there who had achieved a happy marriage but couldn’t have the family they so desperately wanted. Not without the help of a Surrogate Mother.

He was quiet for a bit but then that smile came back on his face and if possible, it was even bigger.