Despite all the planning, precision, and expertise, sometimes the process simply doesn’t work. And what makes this so difficult is when it fails without a clear reason.
I’ve witnessed cases where multiple frozen embryo transfers (FETs) were attempted with no success. The surrogate followed the protocol flawlessly. The embryos were of good quality. The medical teams were confident. But each cycle ended in disappointment, with no clinical explanation to lean on.
These are the moments that challenge our faith in the science and process we’ve come to trust. But they also remind us that reproduction is not transactional—it’s human, layered, and sometimes unpredictable.
At some point, a shift has to happen. That might mean a new match, a reevaluation of the approach, or simply acknowledging that pushing forward may no longer be the best path for everyone involved.
I’ve seen these unexplained failures resolve in unexpected ways. The same embryos later result in a healthy pregnancy with a different surrogate. Or the original surrogate—after those failed attempts—goes on to carry successfully for another couple. There’s no straight line. There are only chapters, and sometimes they close not with answers, but with acceptance.

Whether you’d like to explore this topic further or to seek support in a similar situation, you can connect with Carol here!

Another frequent—and deeply avoidable—source of breakdown in surrogacy matches stems not from what someone is doing, but from what they’re not disclosing.
Whether it’s an intended parent continuing to pursue their own fertility treatment, working with more than one surrogate simultaneously, or holding back key pieces of personal history, the issue isn’t judgment. It’s the erosion of trust. Transparency isn’t about perfection; it’s about alignment. And when someone withholds material information, intentionally or not, it creates an imbalance that can shake the foundation of the match.
What makes this especially challenging is that these omissions often come to light late in the process—sometimes at the psychological review, or even when legal contracts are being finalized. At that point, both parties have invested emotionally and logistically, making any disruption that much more painful.
This is where experienced agencies and their screening protocols play a vital role. Creating a space where honesty is expected and supported—not punished—is key. The goal isn’t to exclude someone for trying to conceive or building their family in multiple ways; it’s to make sure all parties understand the full landscape before they commit to walking it together.

Whether you’d like to explore this topic further or to seek support in a similar situation, you can connect with Carol <a href=”https://cwconsultants.us/contact/”>here</a>!

In the world of third-party reproduction, the excitement of a new match often overshadows the possibility that things might not go as planned. But as professionals, we know the unexpected can and does happen. When a surrogacy match begins to unravel, the path forward should never be left to emotion or improvisation. That’s why intentional safety nets must be in place from the very beginning.
Psychological evaluations and independent legal representation aren’t mere checkboxes—they’re foundational components designed to protect all parties involved. When conflict arises or a match begins to fracture, these professionals step into critical roles.
The psychologist is uniquely positioned to assess the emotional landscape and offer an impartial space for communication. If tensions escalate or boundaries begin to fray, this is the professional who can help facilitate constructive dialogue and, if necessary, help both parties navigate a respectful separation. Their role is often understated, but in these moments, their guidance can be the difference between damage and dignity.
On the legal front, the attorneys representing each party serve as the rational voice amid emotion. By pointing to the legal framework—what was agreed upon and what obligations remain—they keep the conversation grounded and protect everyone’s rights without becoming entangled in the personal dynamics.
In the best-case scenarios, these roles are activated infrequently. But when a match is no longer a fit, it’s these very professionals who ensure that next steps are ethical, balanced, and protective of everyone’s well-being.
Too often, the desire to “make it work” overshadows the reality that not all matches are meant to continue. That’s not failure—that’s part of a carefully designed process. With the right people in place from day one, even the hardest decisions can be handled with respect, clarity, and care.

Whether you’d like to explore this topic further or to seek support in a similar situation, you can connect with Carol <a href=”https://cwconsultants.us/contact/”>here</a>!

This little sister is FOUR! Happiest of birthdays to this sweet baby E!

Hey!

I’m a little late with the end-of-year and new year blog. I read somewhere that the phrase “Happy New Year” ends in January. Well, the phrase may need to stay in January, but our wishes to you and your loved ones are wished for every day of every month and year!!

Getting Back to Basics We spent 2024 getting back to basics. This strengthened our relationships with everyone involved in the surrogacy arrangement. We were happy to see the faces of the staff at the fertility clinics, OB offices, and hospitals when we were there to support the GC and her IPs every step of the way. This personal approach is what BFI was built on and has worked so well for more than 30 years.

Quality Relationship Beyond Proximity We recognize that the quality of any relationship isn’t solely based on proximity. We have equally wonderful relationships with our international IPs who are not fortunate enough to be at most of the appointments with their GC. Thankfully, technology allows them to still experience the moment the Doppler broadcasts their baby’s heartbeat and hear from the doctor that all is going well.

Exciting Changes Ahead We are prepping for some very exciting changes this year. Stay tuned for updates in the coming months!!

Hugs to all, and dare I say, “Happy New Year”!!!

Carol

Surrogacy is a work of HEART!

Please join us in sending alllll the positive vibes to GC Bianca on her upcoming FET!

Shannon loved being able to join GC Kim at her recent appointment! She really loves seeing her girls in person as much as possible!! Stay tuned for updates on Kim’s journey!!