Another frequent—and deeply avoidable—source of breakdown in surrogacy matches stems not from what someone is doing, but from what they’re not disclosing.
Whether it’s an intended parent continuing to pursue their own fertility treatment, working with more than one surrogate simultaneously, or holding back key pieces of personal history, the issue isn’t judgment. It’s the erosion of trust. Transparency isn’t about perfection; it’s about alignment. And when someone withholds material information, intentionally or not, it creates an imbalance that can shake the foundation of the match.
What makes this especially challenging is that these omissions often come to light late in the process—sometimes at the psychological review, or even when legal contracts are being finalized. At that point, both parties have invested emotionally and logistically, making any disruption that much more painful.
This is where experienced agencies and their screening protocols play a vital role. Creating a space where honesty is expected and supported—not punished—is key. The goal isn’t to exclude someone for trying to conceive or building their family in multiple ways; it’s to make sure all parties understand the full landscape before they commit to walking it together.
