What are the Benefits to Evaluating the Intended Parents?
Frequently I say it is really critical that we actually do no harm to anyone, especially our couples. They have suffered through many things. Some of them have had tremendous losses. They have lost a baby, in the third trimester that is tragic in itself. Having not dealt with that, they are really not prepared to go forward.
We want to make sure they have dealt with it fully and that they are ready to go forward with the program. They have to deal with the loss and the grief that is inherent in this process before we start. We don’t want to open up old wounds for them, and hurt them in any way. I think that is really important. Some of them have just discovered that they cannot go forward again to carry their own child. So that has to be dealt with, before we begin the program. These are tragedies indeed.
I closely examine their relationship and their current mental status. Are they oriented to reality? Are they prepared to go forward? Do they have any emotional or mental issues, as a result of their infertility history that needs to still be worked through? Do they have the coping skills to deal with a surrogacy arrangement effectively?
We in the program, Building Families and myself, maintain constant contact with the Couples and their Surrogate Mothers, that is true, and the support is ongoing. We must be prepared, ahead of time, before on this journey and that is my job which I take very seriously.
Dr. Vesna Radojevic